Sometimes it's really just all about letting go; about abandoning your preconcieved plans and notions and casting it all aside... about forgetting and remembering at the same time. It's something i've been thinking more about lately, perhaps simply because the past few weeks have been such a diversion for me in regards to the flow. Normally it's something really easy for me to do - let go and let the flow take me whichever way it chooses, and push all negative thoughts and feelings out to the flow itself, too - not necessarily putting them on the back burner, per se, but letting them roll off my proverbial back. Alas, that's been tough over the past few weeks. It's getting easier and easier, don't get me wrong - especially with being out in Utah (the energy here is just fucking phenomenal and so awfully healing!) - but nonetheless it does feel like there's a bit of disconnection from that spiritual side of me.

Quite why this is i'm not too sure. One thing i've noticed is that during the months of November to February i enter a pretty weak state, both physically, emotionally, and spiritually. I tend to be a person that's rooted so very strongly in the pools of energy that the summer brings, and the winter months simply go against those energies, contrasting the warm, fragrant summer nights with bleakly bitter cold winter days. Simply, i love to be outdoors, and it's just to damned cold during the winter for most of my Goat-like tastes. So i find myself cooped up indoors, which gives me quite a lot of time to reflect upon myself and my past. Reflection can be a good thing, but as always, like anything, in moderation. When it gets to be something that becomes the primary focus of one's time (usually for me at night, while laying in bed...) it sucks; it draws the energy from you like a fucking sponge, soaking up the white happiness and general joy that pours form your soul, and leaves you a hollow husk that can't help but feel empty and tired.

But as always I look on the bright side of things. The days are getting longer again! In short order it will be warming back up, and before I know it, i'll be hopefully packing the u-haul and moving out to this place, this land that fucking captured me the day i saw it. But even before that, i'll be heading out to guatemala in less than a month! Word on the street is that it's usually a balmy 75-80 during January, so i can't fucking wait to run around in my shorts, like Goats should be able to do year-round. And two years ago, when my uncle went, he had a chance to go mountain biking through the jungle at Tikal. ohhhhhhhhhhhh my fucking god dude, if i could do that i'd fucking die on the spot, seriously. I have a severe need to go cycling again (hell, even if it's spin class... anyone in Bismarck want to join up at the Y with me??) ... and if i could go biking in fucking guatemala i'd be the happiest Goat alive, i think.

Almost as happy as i'd be seeing U2 in Ireland or spending three weeks in New Zealand or seeing Rush up in Toronto, or visiting the Guiness brewery (or Fuller's in London, too, dear lord), or visting Tibet, or India, or doing my first century (100-mile road ride).

And then there's this whole idea of going back to get my master's degree, probably either in History or Geography. I bet i could teach a mean history course or two... just as long as i can refrain from swearing like a rum-fed sailor.

I fear i must go tap some oatmeal, however, so i bid you farewell for now, reader. Have a pleasant Sunday! Go outside and do something that brings a smile to your face.