4.22.2007

cat treat

4/22/07

            fluff and plump the numbers full of hot-air lies
more protein in the pocket more slick sales overseas

like the cat knows anyways, or really gives a shit…
            it just wants the gravy after all
fucking loves the gravy after all
licks it from its chops seals the deal
The funny thing about the world I live in is that it seems so easy and consistent; I almost wish my house would start on fire or something just to mix things up a little bit.

Don't get me wrong; life is pretty bad ass at the moment. I'm just trying really hard to not take that for granted.

I've been traveling a lot. If, in the off chance, the lack of blog-postings has made one concerned... that's what I've been doing these days. Frequent travel is a funny state of being. I jump around so much and to so many different places that they all blend together, and I sometimes forget where I am. I get lost in the "fuzz" and start living in the box. My consciousness, my awareness of the vibrant life around me, the everyday magic around us all, begins to swirl down the drain and disappear like a big fat turd.

However, unlike when issuing forth the latter, there's not a lot of relief in losing that consciousness. It's a strange state of being.

At the same time, I don't mind the travel, either. Working from home, I get a lot of time to myself, which is both a blessing and a curse. After a few weeks of it, I start feeling the call of the road again. And I just plain like to visit new places - it's one thing i'm very passionate about. I do start to burn out after awhile, though, more emotionally than in any other away. I'm still energetic, to be sure: I could party like a mofo... if only I wanted to.

Since February, I've been back to Bismarck, North Dakota twice (I think), as well as Palm Springs, California, Idaho - both Boise and Idaho Falls, Las Vegas, Nevada, Zion National Park, Utah, and now, Columbia, South Carolina. But the fun don't stop! In May I return once again to Bismarck, only to follow things up later this summer by traveling to Phoenix and Salt Lake City each to see RUSH. (Mind you, I'm also seeing them in St. Paul in the fall... I just have to feed the monkey, man.)

I'm eternally thankful that I have the opportunity that I do, that allows me this much freedom and the ability to go places I might never see otherwise. It's just that, in these busy times, when it's so easy to take things for granted, it's so important that I don't - that I realize, every day, that the life i'm living is awesome, special, and could be taken away in an instant, like, by some gun-toting assmaster on a collegiate rampage, or a plane crash, or something equally bogus.

A lot of people, it seems, lose sight of how fragile our lives are... and I'm scared that someday I will too, as I get swept up in the hectic, meaningless trivialities of adulthood.

Alas, it's time I turn in.

3.18.2007

with spring

3/18/07

amazing

epiphanic
reflectionary

are all the ways that don’t crystallize the
hour and the dull slate in front of
me –

in disappointed realization
words like those
are just too
      big

for that child flame
once written off thought gone for good
but fortunately still…

still
      here… barely