Welcome to another installment in my vanilla-flavoured life. Today's been a fucking downer, i dunno why, it's just been crappy. Most likely cause i couldn't drag my ass outdoors - i was really kinda chilly and thus didn't care to go outdoors and still be cold - but who knows. Could have very well been a combination of some things.

Like just this past weekend in general. Toaster and I, along with General Assdick, ended up talking quite a bit about my current relationship status (quite single). I guess Funkmaster Pink and I did chat about it too, when i was in fargo for the Cake expedition on Thursday/Friday, but we talked about all sorts of other shit too ... which was rad. Anyhoo, chatting with those three dudes about the rather complex and baffling situation i'm in regarding girls brought a lot of shit back to the surface that hasn't been there for a long time. You don't talk about things, and you usually don't think about them. Start discussing things though, and they all come back.

Mostly it just centered around the deal that for one, in lots of ways, I still don't want a relationship. There seems to be too much negative shit that occurs in them; why deal with that? But too, if i meet the right girl, shouldn't the positives outweigh those bad times? I suppose so - why else would anyone want to be in a relationship then? So part of me still does want a girl - i want to feel that passion again, to fall for someone, but not just anyone. I end up being too selective, making things more difficult. How am I supposed to meet new girls here, then, also, given i work at an engineering firm? It's not like i'm in college anymore, where there are all these chicks everwhere. And I don't go to bars to pick girls up - we know this. Can't much have a relationship if i don't know anyone that is available... grr.

So talking about those little issues ended up creating a lot of time where i was spent engaged in self-reflection, something that has historically negative consequences. I'm sure some of my friends can side with me that thinking too much can really blow, and I'm guilty of doing that. Oh well, fuck it, the road still goes on, and I've got almost a full tank of gas.

There were some really cool moments to the weekend though, basically just hanging out with brianne and the toaster and gen. Assdick and Steve and The Princess and others. A very up-and-down weekend. The days leading up to it though were awesome, taking Thursday and Friday off for the aforementioned Cake Expedition. On the 11th here, pink's lady friend, July Lucille, as we shall call her, and the General and Steve and the Princess all went to minneapolis to see Cake and other fun bands at the First Ave. Specifically, those bands were the Detroit Cobras, The Hackensaw Boys (along with Charlie Louvin), and Cheap Trick. DC was a bit special, but the Hackensaw Boys hauled ass as per usual, and Cheap Trick was, ah... fun. I got excruciatingly dehydrated and exhausted after the show though, which was understandably lame... but it was cake, man, so you do what you gotta do. The third time seeing them was just as good as the first two.

That's about it for now.. i'm spent. Besides tired (didn't get to bed till 7am today, alas, it was a fun night, very spiritual and relaxing)... so i will be heading to bed after awhile. Hopefully your weekend, reader, was not as crazy a roller coaster as mine, and i do wish you the sweetest of dreams on this chilly pre-autumn night. Peace.


Hola. From the looks of it, it's been exactly one week since my last post. Hopefully they'll start happening more often! I just need extra motivation at night, after long days at work.

Like today, the standard, run-of-the-mill 10hr day. It was cool though since i got to make my big presentation of my first big project at work, and they seemed to groove on it - so that was tight. It's a good thing knowing that you aren't sucking ass. Then this evening i went over to the parents' place, had dinner, and visited and stuff. All in all, pretty cool. And my dad gave me some food too, like some salmon and tomatos and a green bell pepper. so that kicked ass.

Other than work, this week has been pretty normal. Brianne and I did make it to the river this past Monday, which kicked ass, but other than that, i've just been cooped up, coding on my contract project, and taking it easy. I'm ready to get out this weekend though, to just get the fuck outside, bike ride, stargaze, what-have-you. Just something that doesn't involve a machine with 7200rpm magnetic storage units.

I wish i could provide a nicer, juicier, more robust, more targeted, focused, streamlined, and cornflower-blue post, but really... nothing is going on. I'm not overly sad, nor overly happy... not in love, but not totally against the notion of it... not even randy, which is saying something. I simply feel drained, and in need of a good recharge. Alas.

So maybe i'll go burn some CDs and free up some space on the system drive. Have a peaceful yet fun rest of the night, and bong a beer for me if you break out the cold ones. :)