aggression, but not for me

from 10/18/04

it’s moments like these when I
begin to wonder exactly why
I’m here
marooned on a tiny speck
in the cosmos
with only a few like souls
this place where aggression
confuses, makes me shake
leaves me filled with cobwebs and
glue
the color of black rotten
leaves
after the spring thaw
their dark sweetness the scent
of misunderstood mistrust
and mistaken impressions bent
a melting, dead world
that only touches the surface, no inward lament
only shallow images, no perception of depth
a flat
technicolor
dimensionless spot
where water doesn’t splash
and leaves won’t press
beneath your sneakers
and the sun won’t flirt with your hair

no, here, it’s all as you see it
and never as you mean it
life a mere television, shooting star
in the space we share