that last poem begs some explanation, perhaps, since it's slightly vague (the intent of it, mind you), but it seems to beg further commentary.
It's about my life, in general, over the past number of years. A general theme i've been touching on lately in my poems and myspace bloggings is this notion of age: i'm 25, but what the fuck is going on? I'm getting older by the day, but I don't feel like I've done anything to really better my own growth and evolution since going vegan, really. That was awhile ago. Now what? I worry that i've been on this slow decline for years but that i'm finally starting to realize it. The irony, of course, is that I always thought the past was shit, and the future was cool, but lately the future doesn't seem to hold a lot of promise. In fact, it's downright scary, and i'm not fond of the way things may turn out if i don't alter the course of things as they stand right now. (In other words, i need to get off my ass and change things, lest i just sit here and fester in the current state of affairs, as they have been for an awful long time.)
Alas, I ramble. Enjoy your Thirsty Thursday, reader, and keep it real and such.
5.11.2006
long haul heavy and low, steep grade
5/11/06
all those dark nights
with stars snowed in, always the mirror was black;
pointed pins of light
towards or away swimming and winking beneath the ink
but
now
oh how bright my rearview is! oh how sharp and clear
I can see behind me now with brights blasting strong
oh how sharp
and clear the irony! of the dark road afore me
seen with the crystal eyes forsaken
of their
weary cataract foresight, finally and true (perhaps)
(although
of that
I secretly
hope it’s anything but; maybe just
a truck in the dark)
5/11/06
all those dark nights
with stars snowed in, always the mirror was black;
pointed pins of light
towards or away swimming and winking beneath the ink
but
now
oh how bright my rearview is! oh how sharp and clear
I can see behind me now with brights blasting strong
oh how sharp
and clear the irony! of the dark road afore me
seen with the crystal eyes forsaken
of their
weary cataract foresight, finally and true (perhaps)
(although
of that
I secretly
hope it’s anything but; maybe just
a truck in the dark)
5.06.2006
father time, take this! bitch
5/6/06
when did Saturday night become this?
funny, but I can’t precisely recall
any party-night cocoonings, nor have I
stumbled upon the skins
of any last-weekeneds;
this molting, this metamorphosis
is nothing but a grand surprise, designed to catch me
unsuspecting!
Thank God
I still have my wits about me.
5/6/06
when did Saturday night become this?
funny, but I can’t precisely recall
any party-night cocoonings, nor have I
stumbled upon the skins
of any last-weekeneds;
this molting, this metamorphosis
is nothing but a grand surprise, designed to catch me
unsuspecting!
Thank God
I still have my wits about me.
(false)quicksand / nothing is solid, or is it?
5/6/06
whatever can be
will be
like I’ve said every day
and like no other today; twenty-five but
still the same, feeling just the same
as eighteen, eight, one
and all the foggy useless days in between;
bullet
cutting through the hours
indestructibly, sleek
until I hit the wall and it all becomes
everything I thought it wasn’t
5/6/06
whatever can be
will be
like I’ve said every day
and like no other today; twenty-five but
still the same, feeling just the same
as eighteen, eight, one
and all the foggy useless days in between;
bullet
cutting through the hours
indestructibly, sleek
until I hit the wall and it all becomes
everything I thought it wasn’t