Word up faithful bitches of progress! I'm on my break between OS and Stats, and thought I'd divulge a little.

BTW right now, I'm jamming to a partial set of songs from the Pumpkins' last show, at the Cabaret Metro in Chicago. Specifically, "Rocket" is up. That song fucking hauls ass; and this whole show is awesome. Every time I listen to it, I get goosebumps, honestly... it's amazing. If only I could have been there! My god...

Anyhow, the main reason I'm writing right now, I suppose, is due to my mass desire to avoid any OS reading like the plague. We've another test coming up there next week already, on Thursday, and needless to say I'm not looking forward to it (do I ever, though?). Seems like we just had one like last week or some shit. Granted i got a 100% on the first one so i'm not too worried, but i'm still concerned.

("I am One" is up now.. yay! But the mp3 is fucked so "Rhinoceros" is going now...)

I get my stats test back today, hopefully, so i'm inwardly hoping that went well. It should have - I only had to punt on one part of one question. Course, sometimes one gets suprised.

Funny, lately, that I've been lamenting a bit more about relationships. Traditionally this comes in cycles for me; often, I'll go weeks without giving a shit, but then there will be spans of a week or so where I'm really down about still being single. As I've explained before, the whole fiasco back in November and December soured things for me quite a bit. So I've hardly had any desire whatsoever to persue something since then. I realised too that I didn't bring a lot to the relationship. What exactly do I have to offer someone? No clue, really. Perhaps I do have things to offer, provided I hook up with a girl that allows me to offer those things. Alas. But I find myself coming back to it, thinking that no, I really don't have a lot to offer - so what's the purpose of being in a relationship then? I'm fine being on my own; I have relatively little fear of being alone as long as I have friends (ie I'm not one of these people that spaz if they're not in a relationship). My world is pretty much okay right now, and adding another person, some cool girl, would kick ass, but it would make things more complex, too. And right now, those benefits seem outweighed by the negative complexity involved.. the having to answer to someone, being told who you can't chill with (this seems to be commonplace in many relationships and bugs the living fuck out of me), etc etc. To hell with it.

("Shame"... performed well here, yet recorded like crap)

But on the other hand, right now, I have just a hint of that empty feeling inside, that one believes can only be fixed by some beautiful girl just out of reach. I know that's a fallacy too, though, since a relationship isn't quite a panacea, isn't something that'll fix all your problems. At least not for me.

("Blissed and Gone" - a fun little tune)

So, whatever, I suppose. All i can really hope for is this little tinge of desire for a gangsta bitch to subside, so I can keep it real once again. Make the most out of this afternoon, and remember to keep it real, too, homes.